Fulfillment / Mind

This is Not an Inspiring Story

My nails are RED.

Precisely, the bottle says “Victorian Red”. Hmm. Yes, sassy. I like it. In fact, I want to color my hair red, as well. Music blaring, with Madonna’s Express Yourself from Spotify, and now I want a terribly red shade of lipstick. Not the Russian kind, mind you. This time I want the dark, cherry shade. Confidence,   I realize, can come on a bottle of nail lacquer or a hair color or shade of lippy. If in doubt, check all of the above.   After all, red is confidence.

H, My name is Marissa, and I am a Self Help junkie (cue collective “Hi, Marissa). And I no longer want to be anonymous. I am here, out in the open.

Whatever there is today, name it, and I have tried it. From pouring over the “secret”, to having experience the “magic”. To listening to all the self help gurus and buying almost every book that has “happy” and “life” in the title, boy was I hooked! Studied fashion, look up every magazine and learn to look the part, as well. Must have worked,since I am now working on a prominent company with an above average salary, and a great boss to boot. I feel unstoppable, and I know I attracted this things because well, where attention goes energy follows, right? I have bought myself this incredible life and I should be happy, happy, happy!

But instead, I am exhausted.

See, I would like to think of it as being coffee-tolerant. You have a couple of cups to get you through the day, which is great. But there will come a point wherein 2 or 3 cups are no longer enough to get the “high” you are looking for. Same with subscribing on the new-world concept of positive thinking and law of attraction. When everything has been said and done, when all books have been read and all dresses have been bought, what then? What’s next? Is this it? Can I just wake up in the morning and NOT have to thank for my eyes or the hot water in the sink and just have great things happen to me, anyway? Can I not have a bronzer swiped onto my cheeks and blend flawlessly with my foundation so that I feel confident? I mean, do I really HAVE to do these things, just so I’ll have a great, wonderful life?

But then again, everyone knows mornings are better with coffee. If I happen to have another cup in the afternoon, even better. Same goes with gratitude, with positive thinking and programming yourself to be happy. Will it really hurt if we start with day by choosing to be grateful with what we have? Is it really too much if, after a hurried Monday morning, to give yourself a bit of a pep talk over lunch? But like coffee, we really cannot overdose on self help (Yes, you cannot overdose on coffee, yey!). Not on my opinion. After all, when the coffee buzz is gone and you are lying in bed at the end of every day, you only have yourself to answer to and only yourself to keep your world alive and greener than it was the day before. And to be strong enough to be thankful for the hot water in the sink and the cup of coffee the morning after.

You don’t need too much to be confident and happy. But I’m keeping the red nails.

 

About the Contributor

Marissa Mojica is an Assistant to the President. She writes to silence the thoughts on her head and wake up the heart. To her, coffee is not optional but a must.

This contributor is a customer of The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf®.

See all of Marissa Mojica's posts →

The cover photo was taken from freedigitalphotos.net

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