How long before we get to learn? When I hurt you, I hurt me too. When I give you the best of me and love you, I give all these to myself too. We are all one. The sooner we realize this, the better choices we make, and the happier we become.
The worst of feelings occur when we do something bad to others. The best of feelings happen when we give love. We are all wired to do good and to love, that’s our main job description as human beings.
Yes, we all want to be happy. But this will only be determined by the quality of relationships we have in our lives. The happiest people I know are those whose lives are made up of great relationships.
I realized after having achieved some of my dreams-writing a book, giving paid talks in different places in the country-is that these didn’t become the main source of my happiness. Sure, I got a kick out of it, but it’s nothing compared to laughing with my mom endlessly over dinner, or hearing my dad say “I love you” over the phone or experiencing sweet love from my 3-yr-old niece when one time she thought I was asleep and she climbed my bed, placed her head beside mine, without saying a word. These are the times I felt most alive, moments I’d love to pause then play over and over again.
I think there are a lot of people who have achieved worldly success but still decided to end their life-because they lacked what mattered the most, and this is the love we can only experience with and from others.
Sure, relationships can be downright challenging. People can be difficult. But we can make a decision-day in and day out, that our lives will be meaningful because we will make our relationships work, no matter what.
I would like to give you 3 ways to make your relationships happier.
Sometimes, it’s just a change in perspective, sometimes it takes heaps of bravery, and sometimes it’s just a short conversation to the heavens.
The number one question I want to ask is how you see people. Do you see them as difficult, hindrances to your success, a weight on your shoulders? Your perspective about others would determine how you relate with them. May I suggest, that starting now, you begin to see others as sacred, just like you. God is within every person. When you start to pattern your life after this, every encounter becomes holy. This would cause you to respect others more and value every moment you spend with another. And you know the magic of it all? The more you treat others with respect, the more you gain true respect for yourself. The more you honor your soul with loving choices, the more fulfilled you become.
You know some people who just naturally shine? Who have a different kind of aura in them? I really believe these are people who have made difficult yet loving choices. The number one beautifier is when you work on making your heart more loving every single day.
The next thing I’d like to suggest is that you pray more for your relationships. I really believe in this. Every corner in this world is claimed by God and counterclaimed by Satan. This means that every moment you experience with somebody can have 2 different outcomes. You either walk away from that moment of encounter happier or you both walk away with heavy hearts. So I urge you, before every conversation or every meeting, pray. Ask God to win in that encounter. I have done this several times and I am just awestruck with the results, every single time. Just to cite an example, there was one time I was arguing with my sister. She was shouting at me then left my room. In a millisecond, I asked God to help us in that situation. You know what happened? She stormed back to my room, started shouting again, then the words she was saying suddenly got twisted. We both ended up laughing so hard.
Activate the power of prayer in your relationships, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Last but not the least, I urge you to work on your dwindling relationships or those that matter so much to you but needs some working on. This brings me to my relationship with my father. I used to not be this close to him. It’s okay if he’s at home or not. Now, I miss him when he’s not around. How did this happen? One day, I just decided that I want a better relationship with him. So I started with something very simple- I texted him everyday just to tell him I love him. I went past the awkward feelings because I knew it was worth it. Slowly, I watched our relationship changed. We became more comfortable with each other. We started having more meaningful conversations. We enjoy and look forward to traveling together. This would not have happened if I honored my pride instead of the great love I have for him. Opt to be brave when it comes to making your relationships work. It is something you will never ever regret.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the fact people will hurt and disappoint you. And most often than not, the deepest hurts we have accumulated come from those we love the most. But hey, we have to accept the fact that we are all imperfect beings trying our best. The way people treat you is the best way they know how based on their past experiences, on how they were also treated.
I love this line from the book of Andrew Matthews “Follow Your Heart”: So what are we here for? We are here to LEARN TO LOVE EACH OTHER.
Every day, love a little bit more. Decide to be kind. Make up your mind to forgive. It will not be easy, but your hand in hand with the heavens, what can you not do?
I was just having a conversation with a friend the other day and what he shared with me was true: there is heaven and hell happening right now. Heaven happens when we give hope, trust, joy and love. Hell occurs when there’s hatred, envy and discouragement. Choose heaven. When you relate to others, decide to see the best in them.
We could use more heaven in this world, and that is precisely the reason why you are reading this. You are that person who’s capable of spreading joy, hope and love around. The mere fact that you finished reading this article says so much about how wonderful your heart is. Make the corner you are in- a little piece of heaven others experience. Use this power and gift that you have, it has always been within you, dear sacred one.