Because We Were There

Some of us may have grown up with the fantasy of being courted, adored, and sought after, thinking that one day, our knights and princes will come, kneel, and ask for our hand so we may be together and live happily ever after. Yes, just like how it happens in fairytales. However, in real life, this isn’t the case for some relationships. Sometimes, people stick together because they end up with someone… someone who has always been there from the start.

It might sound very practical and not so romantic, but for those who are in the same situation, remember–

  • Availability is the most important factor in a relationship. You will not be together if one of you isn’t available in the first place.
  • The bond you have is on a deeper level, not because of looks or impressions but because you are attracted to each other’s souls after knowing the other from the inside and out. You don’t have a “perfect, ideal partner image” of each other – you see each other as you both are.
  • Physical attraction may fade, superseded by ticks and flaws as you stay together longer – building something from a casual, objective, “barkada / bro / bro-friend” friendship makes you know each other more beyond the romantic level.
  • You can be more open to each other and would have lesser reasons to hold back – this improves communication with your partner. You can tell your “bro” that he’s being irrational and too lenient and be as frank as you can, while some will find it very difficult to tell their partner if they did something wrong.
  • You could wear both hats and play both roles – as a friend and as a partner. There will be moments when you can’t understand things as his girlfriend (this post is gender neutral, but for my personal “hugot”, I’ll transpose it to my gender preference), but you can “get it” as a friend- and you’ll be supportive of it.
  • You talk like real people without being too considerate or too agreeable – which leads to being passive-aggressive, if it goes on.
  • And lastly, he may have wandered around and knew more people who are heaps better-looking, better-sounding and generally, better than you are – but hey, he chose you, because he feels sure with you. Not because you’re just an option but because he knows that you are the best, and rightest choice.

About the Contributor

Vanessa Zambale is a secular-humanist who thinks for a living, writes with her passion, and lives to give and love. She is currently based in Cebu as a Communications Specialist while sidelining as a Social Media Marketer. She fancies living in a musical and proclaims herself as the Mother Of All Rabbits. While at it, Vanessa likes having her White Chocolate Dream or African Sunrise Tea Latte over meaningful conversations about humanity.

This contributor is a customer of The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf®.

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Cover photo taken from 500px Prime.

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