I feared to write. We all have our own fears and maybe mine was sharing my writings with people. Strangely, I aspire to be a writer, but I fear the basic principle of it all. But, maybe, fear is good.
I’ve been quite vocal about my passion for writing. However, my gut tells me that I’ve been superficial about it. I was often hesitant to share my thoughts in an expounded written form and lay all of my ideas in the table in any medium, be it on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, or on a piece of paper. I would usually start to write down and bleed, soak deep until I drown in the pool of my very own ideas. But I always end up saving it on an archive, keeping it on a notebook, or just scratching them all out. I don’t have the gut to show people how I really write.
This is quite ironic for someone who wants a spot in the industry of media and content writing. Yes, I did submit my write-ups back when I was in college, all of which were to comply for my course requirement. Most of them were the ideas that I knew I have to write, but not what I really wanted to share.
I knew I was afraid, ashamed even more, but it was never clear to me what I was afraid of. Was it criticism, rejection, failure, or being misunderstood? I don’t know. I just know that I am afraid. I know that it is inevitable for people to judge, and I learned that it helps in the process of development, of growth. I knew that by heart, and I have always taken all remarks on my works as inspiration for me to strive to be better, to write better, to express my thoughts clearer, and in a more precise manner. So what was I really afraid about?
It was not the criticism that I fear but the way people will see me as I share my work. Will I be that girl who thinks that she writes correctly all the time? Or that person who writes, but can’t practice what she preaches? Will I seem like a fraud? Would I be compared to some other writers out there?
Maybe yes; maybe no.
I realized that there are infinite possibilities in how people will see us as we share our crafts and try to cultivate our passion, interests, and even our dreams. Fearing these possibilities will do nothing but hinder us from expressing ourselves. Letting fear take over will only do us more harm than good.
Expression is a way of survival. Suppressing our ideas and keeping them to ourselves slowly crush our soul and put out the flame inside us. In doing these, we are only holding ourselves back from contributing greater things to the world.
We should share our ideas. Whether it be through art, music, literature, or any other form, we owe it to ourselves to find a medium of expression and share them. It doesn’t even have to be something we are comfortable with. Sometimes, we get to express what we really feel in the most uncomfortable moments where we choose to step out of the safe zone and just let our raw aspirations take over.
I have been struggling to overcome the fears that come with my aspiration of being a writer, but I believe that they are not impossible to defy. It is never easy, but I promise myself to start one step at a time, writing vehemently about the things that I want to talk about and sharing them to the world through small efforts until I gain the confidence to share bigger ideas and fuller thoughts. Maybe fear will constantly show up in our lives, but we can choose to be brave, and soon, triumph over it.
Maybe, fear is good. It gives you the opportunity to be brave.