To make someone feel valued is to make them feel special.
I believe that it doesn’t take a lot to make someone feel special, yet often we forget to do those little things that can mean so much to someone.
I remember a day about one year or so ago when I was not having a very good day. It was one of those days that everything kept going wrong, and by the afternoon I was feeling really drained and not very happy. I went to a coffee shop (guess the coffee chain, The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf), and the barista that served me greeted me with a genuine smile and asked me how I was doing. I lied and said I was ok, but that didn’t stop her asking me a couple more questions to brighten my mood. She showed a genuine interest in me. I was a stranger to her that she gave importance to, and it made me feel special. So special in fact that I still remember that day even though it was over a year ago, and trust me when I say there’s a lot of things that don’t stick in my mind, so that’s saying something.
I think these days we find value in quite superficial things, like how many likes we get on our Instagram or Facebook. Used as a tool to promote a business this is important, but for personal use does it really matter that much? Does it really mean that those ‘likers’ actually care so much about us that they value our friendship? Not necessarily.
There are many simple ways to make people feel valued. Here are some:
Words Of Affirmation
Kind words which we genuinely mean are an easy way to make someone feel special (people can tell if we are being fake).
Acts Of Service
Going out of our way to do something nice for someone that we know will help them out, or simply to make them feel good will make them feel special and valued. Time is precious and is one of the greatest gifts we could give to anyone. When someone does something for us that they don’t have to do but simply because they want to, that feels great!
If we are talking to someone while looking at the clock, our phone, the ground, our finger nails or anywhere else, then that person will probably be counting the seconds they get to leave our company and be in the company of someone who actually cares enough to give them their full attention. Eye contact and a pair of ears that are happy enough to listen and digest the conversation wholeheartedly will make a person feel valued.
A simple tap on the shoulder or a strong hand shake can make someone feel special and important. Just don’t go overboard as most people also value their personal space.
When we are talking to someone and use their name during the conversation, this will make the person feel important. Better yet, if we have had the chance to talk to them before and remember something about them that we can add to the conversation, this will really make them feel valued.
Those are just a few things that mean a lot to us, and often it doesn’t take that much effort or time to be kind to someone. Quality is almost always better than quantity, and a short conversation with someone really interested in what we are saying is way better than a long conversation with someone who doesn’t care, or at least doesn’t show it.
So let’s get caring more for others and say or do something kind for someone today. When we do something kind for others there’s the added benefit that it makes us feel better about ourselves too. Just an added bonus!