Have you heard of the term “Love Languages”?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the love languages are ways in which people feel most appreciated and valued. They are a person’s main “language” for feeling and showing love. Different love languages mean different ways of communicating, so understanding the love language of someone close to you will help you cultivate a better relationship.
Here’s a rundown of the five love languages, and a few tips on how to use them to bless others! Remember that these tips are only suggestions, and you can be more creative in showing your loved ones that you care:
1. Quality Time — People whose love language is Quality Time feel most valued when their loved ones set aside special uninterrupted time with them.
Activities done together don’t have to be grand; the most important thing is that you are there with them—present and able to give your full, undivided attention.
If someone’s love language is Quality Time, don’t make them feel that they’re not a priority in your life, no matter how busy you can get. Go with them when they ask for company, whether it’s just going out for a walk or sitting with them while they do work. Take them out to their favorite restaurant, or cook for them if that’s your specialty. Listen to them intently and without interruptions, especially when they are going through a difficult time. Offer to help them when they run errands. Schedule a trip together in advance, if you can. These little efforts to spend time listening and being with them will definitely brighten their day.
2. Acts of Service — A person who has Acts of Service as their love language would really appreciate it whenever you go out of your way to serve them, or when you take that extra effort to help them with their to-do’s and tasks.
To bless someone with this love language, extend help when they least expect it. The most genuine act of service is done when it is not requested. Offer to do their chores, or take on a task that you know they may have a hard time with. Depending on your relationship with the person, ask them what their current challenges are and try to help them with those challenges. Give your time, effort, and energy into helping them become more productive, especially when they’re already tired. When you try to make their life easier, you make them feel loved and valued.
3. Physical Touch — When someone has Physical Touch as their love language, they appreciate hugs, handshakes, and the general warmth of human connection from the people they love. People with this love language are often comfortable with warm hugs from close friends and family, and a simple pat on the back, a gentle touch on the arm, or even just being in close proximity with their love ones make them feel valued and special. So don’t hesitate to be sweet to them in this way, to show your appreciation and care.
4. Words of Affirmation — For people with Words of Affirmation as their language, it’s important to hear that they are loved and valued. These people appreciate verbal or written messages of appreciation.
To bless them, leave them short messages throughout the day that will remind them that you care, write letters every now and then (or for special occasions), send random notes just to let them know that you are there. These are the things that make them feel the most loved.
5. Receiving Gifts — When you know someone whose love language is Receiving Gifts, the best way to bless that person is to give them a token that means something to them. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive; people with this love language appreciate the thought that went into the gift, most times even more than the gift itself.
Surprise them with their favorite food, or a gift certificate to something they’ve been saving up for, a collage of your photos taken together over the past year, leave them a piece of their favorite candy or chocolate with a note of encouragement during times when they’re stressed. Receiving gifts lets them know that you’re paying attention to them—big and small, this will make them feel valued by you.
Knowing your loved ones’ love languages will help you more effectively bless them, and help you build stronger relationships with those you care about!