Ahh, relationships. The subject is too universally celebrated that it’s hard to pinpoint an absolute set of “rules.” Whether it’s between a man and a woman, woman and woman, or man and man, relationships know no boundaries, no religion, no gender, no class, and no race. And every relationship is unique, like having its own DNA or fingerprint. That’s why it is virtually impossible to carve hard rules on it to stone.
But no matter how diverse relationships are, no matter how perfect, or how devastating, or how regretful we are in any relationship we are involved in, I think what will ultimately make it thrive in the long run is living the standards that we set for the partner that we look for. Of course, we change, people change, especially after the honeymoon phase when all we do is to put our best foot forward. But as the relationship grows and the two partners grow more and more comfortable with each other, there always comes a point when all the awkwardly disgusting habits of one party finally surfaces, leaving the other confused and with a questioning fear, “Why and how did I ever fall in love with this person?”
Then comes the doubts, the fears, and the secretly-wishful-thinking of being single again. But relationships shouldn’t be like that. I think the root cause of all breakups is when both parties realize that they haven’t entirely gotten to know the person, his “goods” and “bads,” and all the gradual changes that may show after the best-foot-forward phase is up. We think that we no longer recognize the person we were once infatuated with. And then we fall out of love.
When we’re on that brink, I think we should flip back through the pages of our own love stories and remember why we really fell in love in the first place. Not just with the person, but also with the relationship. And most especially with ourselves. Think about how much your life and personality changed when you were infatuated with that person. Everything was funny, alive, and just plain happy.
And nobody can ever dictate to you whether you should be happy or not. It’s something you do, something you choose on your own. Circumstantial factors are only mere “factors,” and they should not engineer your own mind, your heart, and your relationship. It takes a lot of will to stay in love with a person, but it shouldn’t be difficult when we are always in love with ourselves.