What is a successful love story? Is it counted by the number of years you have been together? Is it judged by the number of trials you’ve been through or how dramatic lovers ended with each other’s arms?
I can say YES. We’re talking about a successful story and not a perfect one so yes; I agree mine’s an example of a successful story of undying and unconditional love.
We met in a not-so-exciting way, as colleagues. I was in a two-year relationship with my ex while he was a single, happy-go-lucky guy. He’s older than me so I used to call him “Kuya”. He likes to be with friends, go out and meet new people while I was reserved and preferred to be alone. We are the exact opposite of each other, one that may not meet ends. That’s why I was surprise when he courted me.
I took his idea of courting as a joke because I’m not pretty, not glamorous and attractive as other girls my age. I even considered myself as old-fashioned and naïve. He also looks at other pretty girls and flirt with them at times so I thought he was just killing time socializing with everyone. Whenever he had the time, he would go to my workstation just to ask if me and my boyfriend were still together and when I say yes, he would say that he is praying for us to be separated so he can have his chance. (I know right! The nerve of this man!)
Then fate did his job in ruining (fixing) my love life and yes, my boyfriend and I broke up for some other reasons. I can still remember his face when I suddenly went to him and asked if he could come with me for a drink. Though puzzled as I don’t approach him usually, he accepted my invitation. After 3 bottles of beer, I had my cue to open up. I told him that we broke up and he even said sorry– because his prayer came true. How ironic.
We became close, went out more often. I saw a different side of him. From this happy-go-lucky man came a serious and broken man. He had a steady relationship with a girl for 4 years who just left him for another guy. This girl, whom he first loved and cared and treated as his wife, left him heartbroken. I learned that he’s a person with a deep understanding of things. He’s a romantic guy who doesn’t know how to show how romantic he is. I saw a side of him that people may never understand.
Yes, we became lovers. If you’ll ask me if our story is a smooth-sailing love story, I’ll say it’s more like a whirlwind story. It’s not as easy as I’ve imagined.
Unlike any other relationship, ours is a learning process. A HARD learning process. I dream of all the sweet and romantic things to do together while he prefers to do it otherwise. Our difference made its way in between us at an early stage. During the first months, we had the toughest days of our lives. We fought, cursed, and even hurt each other physically sometimes. We would think of our own selves first instead of talking to each other and patching things out. I hated the idea that I didn’t have any choice but to stay with him because I loved him. We didn’t understand each other. Then there came the bills to pay, the lack of money, other priorities. For moments, we would want to end what we had but we would end up with each other again. This was a cycle that lasted for 2 years.
Then we finally got tired with all the drama and started to ask ourselves– why are we here? Why are we together? Can we live without each other? What is wrong with us? Do we still love each other? We talked, cried, repented and reflected. We sought the help of God to show us the right way and readied our minds to accept if we didn’t belong with each other.
I asked myself, can I survive without him? I never loved anyone the way I loved him. He is the first and last man I wanted to spend my life with. I have accepted his bad sides, all his flaws and weaknesses and am I ready to waste that? He opened up to me and to my surprise, we had the same questions and fears about our relationship as if our minds and hearts were functioning as one.
From then on, we started to be open and be more understanding as we can be. Constant exchanges of “I love yous” served as a reminder why we were together. Yes, there may be problems but we have no fear of facing them because we are a team. We welcomed the challenges from the very beginning of our relationship, not sugar coating every issue as other lovers would do. We ended up strong and not broken because we learned it the hard way.
I’ll just leave you with this code we follow. Hope it’ll work for you too!
T – alk (open up, don’t hide anything)
R – espect each other
U – nderstand
S – upport (you’re there to give each other strength)
T – eam-up (it takes two to tango so don’t dance alone)
We will be celebrating our fourth year together this coming October 22 and I’m still looking forward to the years to come. Surviving a relationship as long as ours is not easy… this is the reason why “partner” is better than “solo” 🙂