On Relationships and Valuing Oneself

You spend so much time making sure that his needs are provided. You don’t want to see him starving or exhausted. Not a day goes by that you don’t ask him how his day went. You basically want a blow-by-blow update of what’s going on in his life right now.

The list could go on and on, yet you will still not be able to enumerate all the ways to show how much you care about another person. I have always believed that when you love someone, there is no perfect day or time to show it. Cliché as it may seem, but you will never run out of ways to express the warmth of your love – that fuzzy feeling, which you can’t wait to share with another person. You will never run out of reasons not to.

Love is unconditional, as they say. It is endless; it is infinite. And as each day goes by and we strive to be better, the love just keeps getting stronger. But, really, how do you measure love? How do you put a quantifiable equivalent to this feeling so big it overwhelms you?

I’ve been single for quite a while now. And even if I don’t have that person to share my everyday with, it doesn’t make me less of a romantic. I’ve gone out and dated all sorts of men—from the ones who swept me off my feet to the ones who just left me hanging. Every man came with a lesson, especially in terms of valuing oneself and the relationship. For all of these things, I am grateful. I am grateful that I already have a better grasp of the kind of relationship that I want to have for the rest of my life. I am grateful that I already know the kind of man who I want to be with until death do we part. I am grateful that my perspective in love has already surpassed fancy dinners and expensive gifts.

More than anything, what matters to me now is the mutual respect and love for one another. Having these two key elements in a relationship and making them stronger by the day will ensure a lasting relationship that will survive the most difficult of trials.

Then again, there will still be times when we will be faced with a confusing situation – one wherein we cannot distinguish a love that is real versus a love that is superficial. Hopes will be kept up, tears will fall, and hearts will be broken. But at the end of the day, I guess the key to being able to successfully stay away from the shallow, suffocating kind of love is to ask yourself this question: Have I loved myself enough to say that I am now ready to share it with others? While we are all capable of imparting this to other people, if we are unable to fully value ourselves first, we can never enjoy the feeling of loving another person wholly.

In the same way, we are called to go beyond skin-deep and look for the qualities that make a person special. We need to avoid dwelling on superficial traits as these will mean nothing in the long run. I have always believed that the things that really matter are the ones that will carry us through the rough patches that we will face in our respective relationships – not by how beautiful you are, not by how much money you have in your bank account.




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