A friend once told me that I was the type of person to hold back and to doubt myself, and I must admit that it is true. This is probably due to the struggles, mistakes and failures that I got myself into in the past. All of these have made me afraid of uncertainties and fearful of what lies ahead. It then became a constant struggle to do the things I wanted to do – one moment I was ambitious, the next settled for mediocrity. This resulted to me not being able to achieve what I really wanted and what I needed. I knew that I failed not just myself, but the people around me as well.
Right after college, I went into law school to fulfil an unsettled dream of becoming a lawyer one day. I promised myself that I would redeem myself in law school, be the better person that I can be, get good grades, be an active student and graduate top of my class; but here I am… repeating first year all over again. It was heartbreaking and disappointing knowing that I have once again failed miserably.
But when did one ever have a perfect journey?
There will always be setbacks, failures, regrets, disappointments. But it is always up to us to take control and steer the direction.. We can sulk, we can cry and we can hide from the world but what good will this do to us? Yes, it can give us comfort and temporary relief but after a while, we have to be the one to pick ourselves up and put ourselves together.
From all these experiences and anguish, I discovered the power of attitude. How we perceived things and our behavior about them these are key to pulling ourselves together. Our attitude can allow us to accomplish the goals we have always dreamt of or even reach something a notch higher than what we have always wanted.
Even though I’ve always wanted to better myself, looking back, I realized it was my outlook and approach that was making everything amiss. And maybe this is why I am repeating my first year again, because I need to restart to correct my attitude – not just in school, but in life as a whole.
There will always be questions along the way, could have’s, should have’s and would have’s but they will always remain questions unless we act upon them and carry the right attitude.
For all the things that went wrong in our lives, we cannot completely be regretful because our wrong choices have led us to something that we can learn from. Because of our learnings, our attitude towards things begin to change, helping us take control of what we truly want to happen in our lives.