I’m a firm believer that whatever is destined to be yours will always be yours. No matter how much the universe conspires to take it away, or how far it wanders, it will always find it’s way back to you.
However, how do you really know if something is, indeed, yours? How do you know the difference between deserving and simply wanting? More importantly, will you ever be able to cope with the loss of something—or someone that you once thought was especially designed and brought to this world solely for you? Here are my thoughts:
- Only time will tell if something is truly made for you. I have loved and lost, and learned how to love with the anticipation of losing. It’s a cold hard truth that pretty much everyone goes through at some point. The simple act of loving is the first step towards ownership, and it doesn’t always have to be in a romantic way. You can love your job, for example, and you start thinking that maybe it’s the career path that is set out for you. You start planning the future ahead, with your current job in mind. Only to find yourself a few years down the road in a completely different industry. That’s just how life works. It’s not always pretty and smooth sailing as you planned it out to be. It’s messy—painful, even. But as time passes, you will realize that everything all ties together, leading you to where you’re supposed to be.
- It takes a few bumps on the road before you realize what you simply wanted at the moment. As weak and as vulnerable as it sounds, we’re just humans. We’re imperfect, which makes us susceptible to acting contrary to our special gift of intellect and will. Sometimes, we get so consumed by our emotions that we decide based upon what we feel; setting aside what our reason tells us. This is why we yearn for something and claim it to be ours, even when we know at the back our minds that it isn’t what’s best for us, and that’s perfectly fine. Our mistakes keep us more grounded, more empathetic and ultimately, more human. Ironically, though, you’ll know that something is for you when you don’t have to try so hard to chasing it. So here’s a tip: if ever you find yourself constantly compromising and endlessly chasing, then maybe it’s time for you to re-evaluate whether or not you’re going after what’s rightfully yours.
- You don’t cope. You learn. More often than not, when something is taken away from us, we tend to dwell on the loss rather than the gain. This is why we grieve and drown in sadness. Not to say that being disheartened is wrong. All of these are, after all, part of the process. But once the storm has calmed, you’ll realize that it is through the loss that you gain—you learn. You’ll learn that you deserve something that will not keep you second-guessing. You’ll start craving for something that is real and unconditional. You now look for something that goes beyond the superficial. Ultimately, you will stop settling. You will no longer chase for the wrong things, and that is, above all else, the most beautiful thing you can do for yourself.
Here’s the thing: it’s perfectly fine that you don’t get things right the first time around. Nobody does.
Should you find yourself working out a future with something from the past—whatever or whoever it may be—then, congratulations! It has finally found it’s way back to you.
But don’t feel bad if you don’t. It just means that far, far better things have yet to come your way.